Who Does God Say You Are? Three Questions to Start 2026

You're scrolling through social media when a video stops you cold. A respected preacher describes the ideal godly man in vivid detail: strong spiritual leader, loves God above all, leads his family in devotions, protects and provides, cherishes his wife like Christ loves the church. Your heart sinks, because your husband doesn't look like that. Your marriage doesn't look like that. The doubts rush in like a flood. Did I make a mistake? Am I failing again? Does God even see me?

Eileen Noyes knows that feeling intimately. As host of The Unsidelined Life podcast and mother of eight, she's walked through a devastating divorce involving teachings about plural marriage and women not being created in God's image. She's remarried now, blending families with seven stepchildren and three step-grandchildren. Nothing about her life looks cookie-cutter perfect, and watching Voddie Baucham describe the ideal godly husband triggered every insecurity she's fought to overcome.

The enemy whispered familiar lies: Your life doesn't measure up. Your husband isn't that man. You failed, again. Then God stopped her with a truth that changes everything.

The Supposed To's Stealing Your Identity  

Where does your picture of the ideal woman actually come from? For Eileen, that picture shifted dramatically depending on which world she occupied.

In NFL wife circles, the ideal woman carried designer bags and projected perfection at all times. Fame, fortune, and flawless appearance. Never messy. Never struggling. Always the trophy on display. Then she entered a religious environment that taught something completely opposite. The ideal woman wore a head cover and never touched makeup because makeup meant Jezebel. She only cooked, cleaned, and had babies. She had no voice, no identity outside serving her husband in absolute obedience.

The secular world paints yet another picture. Be like the Kardashians. Or climb the corporate ladder as the ultimate business woman. The standard keeps shifting with whoever's speaking loudest at any given moment. There's a lot of supposed to. She's supposed to look like this. Act like that. Believe these things. Eileen stayed away from Proverbs 31 for years because she thought it was another supposed to list. She looked at the description and thought she had to match it perfectly. When she couldn't, she concluded she was failing. She sucked. She'd never measure up.

She did the same thing watching that video about the ideal godly man. Looked at her husband and thought they were both failing some invisible standard. Your beliefs about who you're supposed to be didn't form in a vacuum. They came from somewhere specific. Religious teachings that twisted Scripture. Cultural expectations hammered into you since childhood. Family patterns you absorbed without realizing. Life trauma that made you conclude this is just how it has to be. Those supposed to's are stealing your identity. And as you enter 2026, it's time to challenge where those beliefs came from and ask if they're even true.

What the Bible Actually Says  

God has an identity for you that doesn't change. It doesn't shift with culture or depend on circumstances. For generations, Christians have pictured the Proverbs 31 woman as gentle, quiet, modest, and well-behaved. Soft. Subdued. Polite. That version gets taught in churches, painted in books, and whispered in women's circles as the gold standard. Are those qualities bad? Not at all. But they're not the complete picture. The Old Testament Hebrew word for woman of virtue is CHAYIL. And CHAYIL doesn't mean nice or soft or polite. CHAYIL means strength. Power. Valor. Warrior. Part of an army.

The woman of virtue isn't a gentle doormat who whispers and tiptoes and never makes waves. She's a force. She's Lady Bellator, the brand God gave Eileen over two years ago. A woman with a scepter in front representing authority and royalty because she's a co-heir with Christ. A sword in back represents a warrior ready for battle. This changes everything about how you read Proverbs 31. This woman isn't just making sure her household runs smoothly. She's strategic. She's strong. She's taking territory. She's part of God's army fighting for her family, her calling, and her purpose.

The Bible does talk about being modest, not focused only on outward appearance, having a gentle, quiet spirit which is precious in God's sight. Being a woman of character who loves her husband and kids well. But gentle and quiet doesn't mean weak. It doesn't mean doormat. It doesn't mean no voice, no strength, no fire. It means controlled power. Anchored strength. Strategic warrior who knows when to fight and when to be still. When you dig into what Scripture really says instead of accepting watered-down cultural versions, you discover something that should shake you awake: You're not too much. You're not too loud. You're not too strong. You're exactly what God created you to be.

Two Strangers, Two Days, Same Word  

Jesus asked His disciples, "Who do they say I am?" Then He pressed deeper: "Who do you say that I am?" But there's a third question that changes everything: Who does God say you are? Not generically as a Christian. Not just as a woman. But you. Specifically. By name. With purpose. Eileen never loved her name. It felt plain, common, nothing special. Her dad said she was named after some Irish singer. That was it. Then she looked it up as part of a spiritual exercise. Eileen means radiant. Light. Torch. Bright.

Everything shifted. Her name suddenly carried weight. Purpose. Calling. And something strange started happening. She began noticing people had been telling her things that matched her name before she even knew what it meant. "You're a light." "You're so bright I need sunglasses." "There's something radiant about you." God was confirming her identity through strangers before she believed it for herself. Then came two encounters in consecutive days that sealed it forever. A woman she barely knew felt led to pray for her. She scrolled through her phone and showed Eileen a picture of a woman in full armor. Shield. Helmet. Sword. Ready for battle.

"This is how God sees you. A woman of valor." The next day, a completely different woman who knew nothing about Eileen or the previous encounter said something that made Eileen break down crying. "This is kind of a weird word, but God keeps telling me valor. It's strange because valor sounds masculine, like the military." Two strangers. Two days. Same exact word. Woman of valor. God used people who didn't know each other to declare the same identity over her life. He was showing her who she was before she had the faith to believe it.

Your name isn't random. It carries meaning. Purpose. When you search out what your name means and ask God what He's calling you to, you'll be shocked at what you discover. Eileen intentionally named her children with meanings they're now living out. She chose those names prayerfully, asking God for direction. And she's watching them become exactly who their names declare.

Three Questions to Transform Your 2026  

You don't have to stumble into 2026 carrying doubts about whether you're enough. You don't have to drag the supposed to's into another year. Eileen challenges you to answer three questions that will shift everything:

Question 1: Challenge Your Mindset

Where did your beliefs about womanhood actually come from? Are they biblical or just cultural noise repeated so many times you accepted it as truth?

Look at your picture of the ideal woman. Does it come from the NFL world? Religious teachings that twisted Scripture? The Kardashian version? Corporate climb-the-ladder expectations? Family patterns you absorbed without realizing? Question everything. Test it against Scripture. Be willing to discover you've believed lies. Your mindset about who you're supposed to be is probably rooted in someone else's supposed to's, not God's truth.

Question 2: Go to the Source

Stop accepting secondhand versions of what God says about women. Dig into Scripture yourself. Learn the Hebrew. Understand the full context. Study what CHAYIL actually means.

The Proverbs 31 woman isn't a gentle doormat. She's a warrior. Strength. Power. Valor. Part of an army. Find out what God declares about women instead of settling for watered-down cultural interpretations that make you feel weak and voiceless. Go directly to the source and let His Word redefine everything you thought you knew.

Question 3: Who Does God Say YOU Are Specifically?

Not generically. Not just as a woman. But you. By name. With purpose.

Search your name. Look up its meaning. Ask God directly what He's calling you to. Sit with Him and listen. Watch for confirmation through strangers, through doors opening, through opportunities appearing, through people speaking things over you that match what God's been whispering. Your name carries purpose. God either gave it to you or allowed it for specific reasons. When you discover what it means, you'll start seeing how He's been confirming that identity your entire life.

 You're a Warrior, Not a Doormat - Step Into Your Calling 

You're not too much. You're not failing. You're not less than. You're a woman of virtue, which means you're a warrior with strength, power, and valor. You're part of God's army. You're called for such a time as this. The world needs you to step up. Your family needs you. Someone who's survived what you've been through needs you to be the voice declaring truth when they can't find their own yet. Stop sidelining yourself. Stop believing the lies. Stop living small because someone told you that's what godly women do. 2026 is your year to become the Lady Bellator God created you to be. Scepter in front representing your authority and royalty as a co-heir with Christ. Sword in back representing the warrior ready for battle. Challenge your mindset. Go to the source. Discover your name. Then step into your calling and watch what God does.

The episode closes out 2025 with three identity-shifting questions to carry into the new year. Listen to this episode and start 2026 knowing exactly who God created you to be on The Unsidelined Life podcast.

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