What's Your Drink? Identifying What Keeps You From Leading Well

Eileen Noyes, host of The Unsidelined Life podcast, wants to challenge how you read Proverbs 31:4-5. The verse says that when rulers and kings drink, they forget justice and ignore the rights of those in need, those who depend on them for leadership. Your first instinct might be to skip right past it. After all, you're not a king. You're not a ruler. You don't wear a crown or sit on a throne.

But Eileen sees it differently. As a mom, as a wife, you are a leader. You're leading your family. You're a co-heir with Christ, which makes you royalty in God's kingdom. The Lady Bellator represents this truth: warrior, royalty, the woman who stands in the gap for her family. Someone is watching you right now. Someone depends on you. And that changes everything about how this verse applies to your life.

Beyond the Bottle  

The obvious application of this passage involves alcohol. And yes, Eileen addresses that. Alcohol impairs judgment and puts people in situations where there's no attention to consequences, no attention to reality. She's seen what it does, both in her own life and in others. When leaders drink to excess, the people they're leading end up getting hurt. For Eileen personally, her conviction leads her to ask who is watching and whether it's worth it.

But Eileen wants to take this verse somewhere deeper. She wants you to ask yourself: What is your drink? What hinders your judgment in your leadership role? What consumes you to the point that you forget the needs of those depending on you? Take out the word "drinking" and put something else in its place. What fills that blank for you?

When Shopping Became Her Drink  

Eileen gets vulnerable about her own struggle. During her years in the NFL life, when her kids were young, shopping became her drink. She wanted to look the part. She wanted to numb the pain of conflict with her spouse. She chased deals, discounts, and flash sales. What happened? She spent so much time consuming, scrolling, and hunting for bargains that other things got neglected. Her house suffered. Her kids were not tended to. She was physically present but mentally absent, neglecting those who needed her and looked to her for leadership.

The shopping wasn't sinful in itself, but it became a consumption that pulled her away from the people who depended on her. This is the pattern Eileen wants you to recognize in your own life. The thing consuming you might be completely permissible, but if it's keeping you from leading well, it's worth examining.

What's Consuming You?  

Eileen challenges listeners to reflect honestly on what might be filling that blank in their own lives. Work can make everything about tasks and productivity instead of the people who need you. Scrolling and social media steal time and attention while your kids try to get your focus. Bitterness and unforgiveness consume your mind as you replay conversations, build cases, and nurse wounds until you're not present anymore. Self-doubt tells you that divorce, lack of credentials, or past failures disqualify your voice and keep you from making the impact you're supposed to make.

Sometimes we're so consumed with our own hurt, our own injustices, our own unmet needs that we neglect our house, our relationships, and our responsibilities. The consumption takes over. You can be in conflict with your spouse and become so focused on what you're not getting that you fail to show up for him when he's in need. You can be so wrapped up in your own pain that you tune out everything and everyone around you.

The Enemy's Strategy  

Eileen identifies three tactics the enemy uses to keep you stuck in whatever your "drink" happens to be: distraction, discouragement, and deterrence. He distracts you with things that pull your focus away from those who need you. He discourages you by getting you to focus on yourself, on what you're not getting, on resentment and bitterness toward someone or something. He deters you from showing up as the wife, mom, and leader you're called to be.

When you're self-consumed with the thing bothering you, you can't tend to the needs of those around you. You forget justice. You ignore the rights of those in need. You fail the people depending on you for leadership. Recognizing these tactics helps you see when you're being pulled away from your calling.

The Antidote: Eyes Fixed on Him  

So how do you break free? Eileen points to Isaiah 26:3, which promises perfect peace to those whose minds stay fixed on God because they trust Him. In order to avoid being distracted by everything around you, in order to not have something consuming you that shouldn't, you need to keep your eyes fixed on God. Focus on what He focuses on. Stop looking within at all your problems and perceived injustices.

When your mind stays fixed on His Word, His promises, and His truth, something shifts. You remember that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. You don't need to worry. You don't need to be consumed. You don't need to numb yourself from pain. When you trust Him, He gives you perfect peace that enables you to lead the people He's called you to lead, frees you from consumption in things that shouldn't hold you, and empowers you to create the impact He designed you to make.

The Challenge  

Eileen's challenge is simple but uncomfortable: Ask God to show you what your drink is. What's keeping you from leading well? What's causing you to forget the needs of others? What's pulling you away from showing up for those who depend on you? Maybe it's obvious and you already know exactly what consumes you. Maybe it's something you've never considered before.

Whatever it is, this isn't about guilt or condemnation. It's about awareness. It's about recognizing that this verse in Proverbs applies to you because you are a leader. You are royalty in God's kingdom. Someone is watching. Someone is depending on you. And when you identify what your drink is, you can take it to God, keep your eyes fixed on Him, and find the perfect peace that enables you to show up fully for your family.

Listen to this episode on The Unsidelined Life podcast.

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