Unforgiveness Will Destroy You, Not Them: Lessons from Timera LaChae's Journey

In the latest episode of The Unsidelined Life, host Eileen Noyes welcomes Timera LaChae', a remarkable woman whose story captivates from the very first minute. Standing 6'3" tall, this former college basketball player has transformed her life experiences into a powerful ministry and business. As the founder of Increase Marketing and Consulting, Timera helps entrepreneurs bring their visions to reality through brand strategy, business development, and coaching. But her professional achievements only scratch the surface of her extraordinary journey.

What truly sets Timera apart is her unwavering faith, which began with a divine encounter at just eight years old. This early spiritual foundation would later sustain her through what she calls her "Hosea assignment," a marriage marked by repeated betrayal that tested the limits of her faith and capacity for forgiveness. Throughout this conversation, Timera's story unfolds as a masterclass in maintaining faith through adversity and transforming pain into divine purpose.

The Power of Divine Connection and Early Spiritual Foundations

Timera's spiritual journey began unexpectedly at her grandmother's house when she was just eight years old. Unlike many who grow up in traditional church settings, Timera wasn't raised attending church regularly. During a visit to her grandmother's house, young Timera picked up a Bible and had what she describes as a spiritual encounter with God that felt like being consumed by the Holy Spirit.

From that moment forward, Timera began hearing God's voice with remarkable clarity. She would share revelations with her mother, who witnessed them come to pass time and again. One example occurred when Timera prayed for God to bless her mother with a brand-new house, which manifested by the middle of that school year.

These early experiences taught Timera the power of faith and the weight of her words. Her mother offered pivotal wisdom: be mindful of what comes out of your mouth, especially when angry, because your words manifest in reality. This lesson was reinforced when Timera, in a moment of anger toward her father, spoke harmful words that later came to pass exactly as she had declared them.

Faith Foundations that Guided Life Choices

Throughout her adolescence, Timera made countercultural life choices that reflected her growing faith. When she was in ninth grade, her mother presented her with two options: date throughout high school or wait until she was 18 to date and receive the high school experience she desired. Choosing the latter option allowed Timera to discover who she truly was without the distractions of dating and strengthened her resolve to remain a virgin until marriage.

Timera's athletic journey also followed an unlikely path. Despite being 6'3" tall, basketball wasn't her first choice - she actually preferred dancing. When she finally began playing basketball, she struggled initially, even shooting into the wrong goal her first time on the court. By senior year, her natural abilities blossomed, leading to college recruitment offers despite her limited experience.

College presented new temptations to her faith commitments. As a tall, attractive athlete, she received plenty of attention, but Timera held firm to her principle: if she felt strong attraction toward someone, she distanced herself rather than moved closer. This uncommon wisdom defined her college years, where she began speaking at schools and churches while maintaining her personal boundaries.

The "Hosea Assignment": A Marriage of Unexpected Trials

At age 24, Timera finally joined her first church but quickly encountered controlling leadership. This pattern of institutional religion conflicting with her personal relationship with God would continue throughout her journey. By 25, she received what she initially rejected as a false prophecy - that she would marry a pastor and become a first lady.

Shortly after her 25th birthday, a pastor contacted her about speaking at his church and immediately declared she was the wife God had shown him. Despite her resistance, over the next five years, more than a hundred different prophets confirmed the same message. Throughout this period, God repeatedly led her to the biblical story of Hosea and Gomer, telling her He was taking her on an assignment for His glory.

What followed after their marriage was a series of betrayals that tested her faith. A woman she had mentored fabricated a story about needing a place to stay. While living in their home, this woman and Timera's husband began an affair that resulted in a pregnancy around the same time Timera was pregnant. The betrayals continued with multiple other women throughout their marriage, each time bringing her back to the question: "Lord, when can I leave this assignment?"

Overcoming Unforgiveness and Transforming Pain into Purpose

When Timera discovered her husband's betrayal with her mentee, she experienced anger and unforgiveness unlike anything before. In that critical moment, God spoke to her clearly: the reason she couldn't let go of the unforgiveness was that she was ashamed and unwilling to tell anyone what had happened. The path to freedom required vulnerability - she needed to share her story.

Following this divine guidance, Timera called three different people and shared what had happened. After the third conversation, the feelings of anger and unforgiveness lifted from her. This experience taught her a valuable lesson about healing: sometimes the very thing we want to hide is what needs to be exposed for us to heal. Throughout her marriage, she continued to face one betrayal after another, yet managed to respond with grace rather than bitterness.

In 2022, God finally told her the assignment was complete, and in 2024, she filed for divorce after discovering yet another betrayal. When she asked God about the purpose behind all she had endured, He revealed that the assignment had equipped her to teach others how to move through hurt without being consumed by unforgiveness. Before this experience, her testimony had been primarily about faith without major trials. Now she could authentically help others heal from trauma and unforgiveness.

Practical Wisdom for Life's Journeys

Throughout her conversation with Eileen, Timera shared valuable insights that extend far beyond her personal story:

• The power of our words: The things we speak, especially in anger, can manifest in reality. This understanding shapes how we approach communication and conflict.

• The importance of early childhood development: The years between ages 1-7 are foundational for a child's development. Parents should be fully invested during these critical years.

• The process of forgiveness: Unforgiveness primarily harms the person holding onto it, not the offender. Sometimes sharing our painful experiences with trusted individuals is a necessary step toward healing.

• Faith as an anchor: Even when institutional religion disappoints, personal faith can sustain you through every trial.

• Recognizing divine assignments: Not every challenging situation should be immediately escaped. Sometimes difficulties are assignments that will later equip you to help others.

As a businesswoman, Timera brings this same depth of wisdom to her work with entrepreneurs. She helps them understand that branding is an identity that produces a result - just as God branded Adam when He breathed life into him. Perhaps most remarkably, she maintains that many hurt leaders aren't "wolves in sheep's clothing" but rather "sheep trying to be shepherds who were trained by wolves in sheep's clothing." This insight allows her to approach broken people with compassion rather than condemnation.

From Pain to Purpose: Your Journey of Transformation

Timera LaChae's extraordinary story reminds us that our most painful experiences often become our most powerful platforms for helping others. Her journey illustrates the transformative power of faith through life's darkest valleys.

If you find yourself in a season of hurt, betrayal, or unforgiveness, remember that these feelings don't have to define your future. Like Timera, you can choose to release unforgiveness not primarily for the benefit of those who hurt you, but for your own healing and freedom. This may require the vulnerability of sharing your story with trusted individuals.

As you reflect on Timera's journey, consider how your own experiences might be shaping you for a greater purpose. How might your story, when shared with wisdom and vulnerability, become a light for others? In Timera's words, "Faith without works is dead. You can't have faith for everyone because if you can't do the work for them, you can't have faith. You can only have hope." May her journey inspire you to transform your own pain into purpose, speaking life rather than death, and choosing forgiveness as the path to true freedom.