Sidelines to Center Field: Kim Singletary's Journey of Purpose and Resilience

“She sets her heart upon a field and takes it as her own. She labors there to plant the living vines.”
— Proverbs 31:16 (TPT)

 

A Word from Eileen Noyes:

I used to think I was a quitter. I’d start a new side hustle, get excited… and eventually walk away from it.
But what I’ve come to see is that I wasn’t quitting—I WAS SEARCHING.
I was trying to find MY field… the one GOD created JUST FOR ME to cultivate.
When we understand our divine design—our gifts, our burdens, our lived experiences—we begin to see how God uses ALL OF IT to guide us toward OUR PURPOSE.
That’s the heart behind the newest Proverbs 31 - Lady Bellator Edition devotional.
Sis, you have a field too. And someone needs the fruit that only you can grow.
🌿 Ready to uncover it?
👉🏼 Join the wait list and immediately get Proverbs 31:10 as a preview, as well as each new chapter of Proverbs 31 - Lady Bellator Edition as it releases.

In this recent episode of "The Unsidelined Life" podcast, host Eileen Noyes welcomed Kim Singletary, wife of NFL legend Mike Singletary of the Chicago Bears. Their conversation revealed much more than football stories – it uncovered a journey of resilience, faith, and personal rediscovery after decades of supporting others. Kim's story begins at Baylor University in 1978, where she met sophomore football star Mike Singletary. Their interracial relationship faced significant challenges during that era, particularly in the South. Through 40+ years of marriage, Kim navigated the complexities of being an NFL wife while raising seven children, often feeling she was living on the sidelines of her husband's life. Her journey eventually led to a pivotal moment at age 60 when she decided it was time to step into her own purpose. This blog explores Kim's powerful story and the wisdom she's gained about marriage, purpose, and finding her 'my time to shine' moment – even when it seems the season may have passed.

 Overcoming Obstacles in an Interracial Relationship   

Kim and Mike's relationship began during a time when interracial couples faced significant cultural opposition. When they met at Baylor University in 1978, Kim quickly discovered that their relationship would face resistance from multiple sides. As a white woman dating a Black football star who was considered Baylor's "golden boy," Kim found herself increasingly isolated. Friends distancing themselves, people warning her about the social consequences if they progressed in the relationship. Adjacently, Mike, facing tremendous pressure from his family, particularly his mother with whom he shared an extremely close relationship, as well as professional advisors warning him of problematic consequences his NFL career would face, all because of having a white wife.

The external pressures were so intense that, their relationship faced numerous ups and downs, to such an extent, forcing Mike and Kim to contemplate a break up multiple times during their six-year courtship before marriage. Kim recalls reaching a point where she emotionally "flipped a switch" to protect herself after the final breakup, never fully turning it back on even after they reconciled. This coping mechanism created an emotional distance that would take decades to fully heal. Despite these challenges, Kim felt God was guiding their relationship, even as she questioned why she stayed through difficult periods.

What's remarkable about Kim's story is that once they were married and Mike joined the Bears, many of their anticipated difficulties never materialized. Chicago welcomed them, and Mike's reputation as a hard-working team leader smoothed their path. Even when they had children they encountered little of the anticipated negativity. Their story demonstrates how resilience and faith helped them overcome significant cultural barriers that many thought would be insurmountable.

 Navigating Life as an NFL Wife   

Life as an NFL wife brought a unique set of challenges and responsibilities for Kim. Mike's intense focus on football, which Kim describes as seeing life through a helmet with limited peripheral vision, meant she handled virtually everything else in their lives. His singular dedication to excellence that made him legendary on the field (playing through injuries including one game with vertigo) also made him intense at home. Kim recalls how football always came first during his 12-year career with the Bears, which included the iconic 1985 Super Bowl championship.

The NFL lifestyle came with both privileges and pressures. Kim enjoyed the camaraderie with other wives and the excitement of being part of a legendary team like the 1985 Bears – known for personalities like William "Refrigerator" Perry and the famous "Super Bowl Shuffle." However, she also observed how the game changed around them, particularly as salaries increased in the later years of Mike's career. Higher contracts brought more family pressures on players, changing team dynamics, and shifting priorities compared to the hard-nosed era when Mike entered the league.

After retirement, the adjustment period brought new challenges. Mike channelled his intense energy and focus into family life, determined to be the father his own dad hadn't been. He took ten years away from full-time work to be present with their children, approaching fatherhood with the same intensity he brought to football. For Kim, this meant having an extremely energetic husband at home directing projects: building houses, starting businesses, and implementing structured family systems with the same determination he once brought to the football field. While appreciating his dedication, Kim sometimes found his intensity overwhelming – joking that when he travelled, everyone at home could finally relax.

 The Journey to Self-Discovery After 60   

The most transformative part of Kim's story begins at age 60 during the 2020 COVID lockdown. After decades of supporting her husband's career and raising four children (now adults), Kim reached a pivotal moment of self-reflection. She approached Mike with a profound realization: "I don't want to be on the sidelines of your life anymore." This statement wasn't made from resentment but from a genuine desire to discover her own purpose after faithfully fulfilling her roles as wife and mother.

This conversation initiated a significant adjustment in their marriage dynamics. For Mike, whose pattern had always been to "take care of everything" as he had for his mother, learning to collaborate rather than simply solve problems was a challenging transition. Kim notes there was a 3-4 year learning curve as they figured out what this new chapter would look like. The transformation wasn't just about finding new activities but about fundamentally reshaping relationship patterns established over four decades.

Kim's journey led her to discover Bravenly, a network marketing opportunity focused on wellness products. This venture finally allowed her to use her strengths and build something alongside Mike rather than in his shadow. It addressed her deeper questions: "Do I have anything to offer? Is it too late? Has life passed me by?" What began as a personal wellness journey became a pathway to purpose that complemented rather than competed with their relationship. Unlike previous ventures that remained firmly in separate spheres, this business allowed them to share enthusiasm and engage together – Mike could relate to the health benefits in ways he couldn't with her previous skincare business (which he persistently called "makeup" despite her corrections).

 Healing Misperceptions in Long-Term Marriage   

One of the most poignant revelations from Kim's story involves the healing of long-held misperceptions within their marriage. During the pandemic in 2020, Kim discovered she had operated under a fundamental misunderstanding for nearly 40 years. She had believed Mike married her "out of obedience" to God rather than genuine love – a belief stemming from knowing about a spiritual vision Mike had experienced when deciding whether to marry her despite the obstacles they faced.

This misperception had created an emotional barrier Kim wasn't fully conscious of until they finally discussed it decades into their marriage. Mike was shocked to learn she had carried this belief, explaining that the vision had actually reinforced his desire to marry her, not driven him to it out of duty. This conversation became a turning point that helped restore emotional intimacy decades in the making. Similarly, Kim discovered another subconscious belief – that Mike didn't truly care about her – which she had inadvertently vocalized during a conversation. His response made her realize how misaligned her perception was from his actual feelings.

These revelations highlight how unspoken assumptions can create emotional distance even in dedicated marriages. Kim acknowledges these misperceptions weren't based in reality but were "lies of the enemy" that she had internalized and never questioned. Her experience demonstrates the importance of examining long-held beliefs and bringing them into the light for healing. As Kim puts it, "If you go on the assumption that he wants to make you happy, it really changes your outlook."

 Finding Your Field and Planting Your Vineyards   

"She considers a field ..... and plants vineyards in it"

                                               - Proverbs 31:16

Throughout the podcast, host Eileen Noyes references Proverbs 31, as a metaphor for Kim's journey. After decades of supporting others, Kim finally took time to consider her own field and plant something meaningful for herself. Her story offers valuable insights for anyone feeling sidelined in their own life:

• Recognize seasons have purpose: Kim emphasizes she has no regrets about prioritizing her family and husband's career, seeing those years as seeds planted that eventually bore fruit.

• It's never too late to begin: At 60, Kim embarked on a new chapter, proving it's never too late to pursue purpose.

• Self-care isn't selfish: Kim realized she needed to prioritize herself after years of coming last, recognizing this wasn't sustainable or healthy.

• Challenge limiting beliefs: Examining assumptions about yourself and your relationships can uncover barriers to happiness you didn't know existed.

• Seek collaborative ventures: Finding activities that complement rather than compete with important relationships allows personal growth without creating division.

Kim's journey reminds us that stepping off the sidelines doesn't mean abandoning your past or relationships. Instead, it means integrating all your experiences and wisdom into a new season that honors both where you've been and where you're going. Her story demonstrates that with faith and intention, it's possible to transform from cheerleader to player in your own life story.

Your Time to Step Off the Sidelines

Kim Singletary's journey from the sidelines of an NFL career to the center of her own purpose-driven life offers profound encouragement for anyone feeling unseen or wondering if their time has passed. Her story reminds us that growth isn't limited by age – in fact, the wisdom and self-knowledge gained through life's challenges can provide the perfect foundation for a meaningful new chapter.

If you find yourself playing a supporting role in your own life story, Kim's experience invites you to consider: What field might you consider for yourself? What vineyards might you plant? The answer doesn't require abandoning your commitments or starting over entirely. Instead, it might mean bringing more of yourself to each day, challenging limiting beliefs about your worth and capabilities, and finding new ways to express your unique gifts.

Remember that stepping into your purpose isn't selfish – it's actually one of the greatest gifts you can give those around you. When you live authentically and fully, you not only experience greater fulfillment but also model this possibility for others. As Kim discovered, the seeds planted through years of faithful service and sacrifice haven't been wasted – they've been preparing you for this very moment. Your time to step off the sidelines is now. To learn more about Kim Singletary and her wellness journey with Bravenly, connect with her on social media.

If you're ready to step off the sidelines in your own life but aren't sure where to begin, Eileen Noyes' book "Sidelined No More" offers practical guidance for women reclaiming their purpose. Visit ladybellator.com/books to get your copy today.

For more inspiring conversations about moving from the sidelines to center field in your life story, tune in to " The Unsidelined Life " podcast with Eileen Noyes . Each episode features real stories from women who have navigated the complex journey of balancing family, faith, and finding their own purpose. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and join a community of women who are ready to live the full life God created for them.