It's Not About You, It's About Christ in You

Welcome to The Unsidelined Life, where we explore the journey of self-discovery and purpose for women of faith. I'm your host, Eileen Noyes, a former strength coach turned author, speaker, and podcaster. My experiences as an NFL wife and mother of eight have shaped my perspective on faith, identity, and purpose in a lot of different ways.

 

Today, we're diving deep into the delicate balance between selflessness and self-denial. As wives, mothers, and career women, we often find ourselves caught in the trap of thinking, "It's not about me." While selflessness is a virtue, taken to the extreme, it can lead to a loss of identity and purpose. Embracing our God-given talents and purpose without losing sight of our roles and responsibilities is tricky, so let's look at it.

Recognizing the Danger of Extreme Self-denial

The phrase "It's not about me" can be a double-edged sword. While it's important to put others first and serve selflessly, taking this mentality to the extreme can lead to a dangerous loss of identity and purpose.

 

I experienced this firsthand during my years as an NFL wife. I found myself constantly putting my own needs and desires on the back burner, telling myself, "It's not about me," in various situations. I found myself reinforcing this idea that my own needs and identity didn't matter.

 

There can be two extremes when looking at the world's standard for women and, on the other hand, the extreme religious standard for women. The world will say don't get married. Be a career woman. You don't need a husband. Extreme religious views can lean the opposite way. The woman is nothing without a man. And you need to be having children and supporting your husband to be worth anything. Let me tell you, neither of these extremes is true. 

 

When we choose to follow God, he shows us the ways in which we will find the most fulfillment, and that looks different for everyone. 

Shifting the Perspective: It's About Christ in You

The key to breaking free from the trap of extreme self-denial is to shift our perspective. Instead of thinking, "It's not about me," we need to embrace that "It's about Christ in me."

 

This shift in thinking acknowledges that while our lives aren't solely about our own desires and ambitions, we are still valuable, unique individuals created by God for a purpose. It recognizes that God has placed His Spirit within us and given us unique gifts, talents, and passions to be used for His glory.

 

By focusing on Christ in us, we can maintain a healthy balance between serving others and nurturing our God-given identity. This perspective allows us to see ourselves as instruments of God's love and purpose in the world rather than as non-entities whose only value lies in what we can do for others.

Rediscovering Your God-Given Identity

Rediscovering your identity in Christ is a crucial step in moving from self-denial to purposeful living. This process involves reconnecting with the unique ways God has created you and the gifts He has given you.

 

For me, this journey of rediscovery came after a difficult period in my life. When my ex-husband began following teachings that were contrary to the biblical truths we knew, I began to question my purpose, and it was one of the lowest points in my life. It was in this dark moment that God intervened, reminding me of who I am in Him and the unique ways He created me to serve and glorify Him.

Nurturing Your Gifts and Passions

Once you've begun to rediscover your God-given identity, it's important to nurture and develop the gifts and passions He's placed within you. This doesn't mean neglecting your responsibilities or roles but rather finding ways to integrate your unique talents into your life and service to others.

 

In my own life, I've always had a passion for writing and encouraging women. For years, I put these gifts on the back burner, focusing solely on my roles as a wife and mother. However, God began to show me that by nurturing these gifts, I could not only find personal fulfillment but also extend my impact and service to others in new ways.

 

Don't be afraid to invest time and resources into developing your skills and pursuing your passions. This might mean taking a class, joining a group or club related to your interests, or carving out regular time in your schedule to practice and hone your talents. Nurturing your gifts is not selfish – it's good stewardship of what God has entrusted to you.

Stepping into Your God-Given Purpose

As we conclude, I want to challenge you to embrace your God-given individuality and capabilities as a woman of faith. Your unique blend of gifts, passions, and experiences is not accidental—they are part of God's design for your life and His plan to use you in the world.

 

It's not about denying yourself to the point of losing your identity. It's about allowing Christ to shine through you in all your uniqueness. Your roles as a wife, mother, friend, or professional are important, but they don't define the entirety of who you are or what you're capable of achieving.

 

I encourage you to take some time for self-reflection. Consider the gifts and passions we've discussed, and ask God to show you how He wants to use them. Don't be afraid to dream big and step out in faith. Whether it's starting a new project, pursuing a long-held dream, or simply incorporating more of your passions into your daily life, take that first step today.

 

You are valued, you are needed, and you have a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. It's time to wake up those dormant dreams and stirrings in your heart. As you seek God first and delight in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart and guide you into the purpose He has for you.

 

So go forth with confidence, knowing that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your journey of purpose and self-discovery is not just about you – it's about Christ in you, shining His light through your unique gifts and talents to impact the world around you. You are capable of more than you realize, and someone out there needs your voice, your gifts, and your unique perspective.

 

Embrace your God-given identity, nurture your talents, and step boldly into the life you were created for. The world is waiting for the unique contribution that only you can make.

 

 

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Until next time, love well, celebrate your strength, and discover the new things you are capable of. You are a light in the lives of those around you, and no night is too dark for you to find your way.

If you are interested in learning more about The Unsidelined Life podcast, please visit TheUnsidelinedLife.com